Review: Raiders of the Hidden Donald Trump Fetish Doll (2018 Short)

March 20, 2020

Image Copyright: Parousian Pictures

This is going to be an unorthodox review, and I say that with joy — generally speaking I wouldn’t dedicate the first two paragraphs to discussing what the creator of a film means to me personally, but in this moment it seems important. Angel Connell is a filmmaker focused on short films — and when I say filmmaker I mean he writes, directs, produces, and acts in his films. That level of passion commands respect, and speaking honestly Connell was my first big break, reaching out to me in 2011 to review his short film Beneath the Veneer of a Murder when my blog at the time — Picture This! Reviews — had maybe 100 views. The success and legitimacy I felt when I received that DVD screener in the mail is unforgettable. And it led to a wild ride for about a year.

With the exception of a random movie review here or there, I’ve been out of the movie reviews game for around eight years. One of the reasons I stopped reviewing films initially was because Connell had sent me work from a friend of his to review, I accepted it and just couldn’t produce the words for it. I was ashamed of myself, I was young and didn’t realize that letting people down wasn’t the end of the world, but I didn’t even apologize, I just went dark. I say all of that because second chances don’t happen all that often, and this man is extending an olive branch to me during the COVID-19 outbreak after going years without communication. If I mean what I say in my respect and appreciation for Angel Connell, there’s no way I’m not publishing this review. So without further ado, here’s my thoughts on Raiders of the Hidden Donald Trump Fetish Doll, a short political comedy created by and starring Connell himself.

As the story goes, an indie filmmaker crowdfunding his next movie has a fundraising perk that a lot of people are very interested in stealing by any means necessary: A Donald Trump fetish doll with scary sharp teeth! It’s a simple and silly yet complete story, and I think if I add even one more word about the story itself I’d be giving too much away. We’ve gotta have standards for spoilers on this site!

Angel Connell and his co-star. Photo Credit: Chris Esper

Short films are incredibly tricky to make because you have a very limited amount of time to tell a story, and you have to be able to do a lot with a little. For example, during the intro of Raiders of the Hidden Donald Trump Fetish Doll, Connell narrates as his character reacts to his own thoughts. In other words, the detailed facial expressions he is able to make to set the film up as a comedy for everyone (as opposed to a partisan few) couldn’t happen if his character was physically talking. It’s an effective way of communicating multiple concepts at one time, which is especially important for short films. These are the sorts of decisions short filmmakers have to make in order to maximize time, and I don’t think there is any time wasted here.

Politically-themed films can be risky to one’s brand, and I’ll say politically Raiders of the Hidden Donald Trump Fetish Doll is not my thing, but it doesn’t have to be to be in order to be funny. I’m a self-identified socialist, yet I found myself laughing or chuckling most of the way through because Connell put in the work that made it easy to laugh. We’re allowed to have differences of opinion, but we’re also allowed to laugh with each other, especially during bleaker times when it’s easy to judge and blame people. And frankly the political points that Connell does make with this film do deserve discussion, though it’s important to note it is a comedy first.

If you get the chance to support Angel Connell on his journey, spend nine minutes laughing at something you may or may not agree with, just because it’s funny. That’s what we need right now, and that’s what Raiders of the Hidden Donald Trump Fetish Doll offers. The film is currently making its way through the film festival circuit, and I sincerely wish it the best.

Review: Detective Pikachu (2019)

May 14, 2019

Where to start? For my first review in years, it’s appropriate that the movie I’m reviewing is one that takes me all the way back to my first memories at the movies, when I was 7 seeing Pokemon: The First Movie on the big screen. I’m going to come right out and say it, I love Detective Pikachu, directed by Rob Letterman, and I think I’m ready to call it my favorite film for all of 2019. Don’t misunderstand, though, one can love something that isn’t objectively great — for example, Detective Pikachu.

I really want to end this review on a high note, so I’m going to get the bad stuff out of the way first; Ryan Reynolds carried this movie by himself, virtually every other actor among the main cast phoned it in. It’s not that these actors are bad actors — they’re not — they just universally seemed disinterested in their roles. In addition, the plot wasn’t really smart or clever. Detective Pikachu talks a lot about feelings, but no one’s going to be crying from this movie, unlike the waterworks that Pokemon: The First Movie inspired.

And that’s really all the bad stuff. And while that may seem like some really bad stuff, the movie knocked it out of the park in every other area, to the point where my above criticisms are minor at best.

The team behind the design of the Pokemon nailed it. If you were to talk to me when I was 7, this is how I would’ve imagined Pokemon on real life. Maybe not down to the detail, but everything generally about how the Pokemon look and act, and how they fit into our world. It’s clear that they spent a significant amount of time (and probably a significant amount of resources) translating those cartoons into something that looks real and believable to anyone who grew up with Pokemon. It’s really impressive.

Ryan Reynolds really deserves a lot of credit; I mentioned above that he carried this movie by himself, but it’s more accurate to say that he saved the movie. His performance as the Detective Pikachu is fantastic, it’s funny, it’s hyper, it’s sweet, it’s everything you would expect and want out of Ryan Reynolds. And in this case, it’s clear that he was having a lot of fun, which goes a long way towards helping the audience have a lot of fun.

I’ve mentioned Pokemon: The First Movie a couple times now, and Detective Pikachu actually references events from that movie. Detective Pikachu and Pokemon: The First Movie are canon with each other! That’s crazy and awesome and makes me love the movie so much more.

I don’t believe that movies have to be objectively great to be praised. Sometimes getting psyched to see characters you’ve loved for more than two decades visualized in a realistic and entertaining way is enough. There’s a lot of value in things that can take you back to moments of your past that you treasure. It’s an experience that, in my view, is more inspiring than an Oscar-worthy performance.

There’s a lot of millennials out there who, like me, have fond childhood memories of Pokemon. If you’re one of those, I don’t think it’s a question — YES you should see Detective Pikachu! If you’re not one of those millennials, I’d bet you’ll still find yourself entertained, but perhaps not with the glee that I have.

Detective Pikachu is in theatres now, go check it out!

Letting Go

May 10, 2019

Around a month ago I e-mailed the owner of the coffee shop I manage that I’d be leaving in 1.5 – 3 months. I cried immediately after hitting send — I gave a lot of myself to that job. I push my body to its limits every day to keep my team happy, keep my bosses happy, and keep my customers happy, and I felt as if it’s quickly becoming all for nothing. What made it harder was I didn’t want to leave… I just had a feeling that I needed to.

The next day I found myself waiting for the bus to get to work, and the bus was supposed to arrive in 10 minutes. 30 minutes goes by, so I’m wondering where the bus is, and when I pull out my phone I realize that only 9 minutes had passed. I brushed that experience off, but then more and more things like that kept happening that day, and the next, and so on and so forth. Since that e-mail to my boss, my entire understanding of time changed; where once everything was a blur, it’s now clear. I let go of a lot that day.

One of my favorite books is Rest by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, which explores the relationship between rest and productivity; the harder you work and the more you push yourself, the less productive you are, whereas if you take it easy, you’ll be more productive and happier (principles I haven’t followed in a while). I didn’t know it at the time, but announcing my resignation turned out to be a really big break that would validate that book.

In the past month I’ve completed multiple personal projects that have been sitting untouched for over a year, I’ve got my finances in order for the first time in a long time, I rebooted my old YouTube channel after demand to get back in the game. And above all, I’m happy and enjoying every moment, much longer than I’m used to enjoying it.

We all need to watch what we put ourselves through for our job. We justify the daily grind because we have pride in what we do, we want to be known as hard workers, and the extra income for working more is almost a sedative that keeps us from realizing how we’re hurting ourselves. If you find yourself seeing time pass you by, it’s probably not because you’re having fun, and maybe it’s time for you to let go too.

Diversification And Legacy Data

May 23, 2014

I’m told that I’m a very loyal customer. That I’m loyal to Apple, Starbucks, Portland Fruit West, etc. — very few companies receive my business, and those who do receive my business receive a lot of it. Instead of making things complicated by buying from a diverse array of companies I keep things very simple by only buying from a handful.

There are many benefits to not diversifying yourself in computing platforms, and probably the most clear example of why it’s good to stick with one company is legacy data. Apple is what I know, so I’m going to try to stick to it for this blog post, though most of what follows can be said about other large companies which provide a wide array of services.

TL;DR: Through backups, my iPhone 5s and iPad Air have a data trail that dates back to 2006 with my MacBook Pro.

In 2007 I synced my brand new iPod touch with my MacBook Pro, and moved over .Mac mail, Calendar Events, Contacts, and Music/Movies. Every iOS device I’ve purchased since my iPod touch has been set up using backup data from the iOS device preceding it. I’ve actually gone through four generations of backups setting up new devices.

  1. 1. My iPhone 3G was just my iPod touch in a new shell.
  2. 2. My iPad and iPhone 4 were copies of my iPhone 3G in different shells.
  3. 3. My iPad 3 was a copy of my iPad.
  4. 4. My iPhone 5s, iPad mini and iPad Air are really just copies of my iPhone 4 and iPad 3, but they can also be considered simply grown up versions of my 2007 iPod touch.

(In addition, my iPhone 5s and iPad Air seamlessly share a remarkable amount of data with each other through iCloud.)

If I mixed things up with an Android device now and then, and if I used a different Mail service, 3rd party Contacts, Calendar, Notes, web browsers, office suites, photo management apps, etc., I could have moved over everything from device to device regardless of platform. The problem is it would require more work than I’d like! There’s beauty in simplicity.

Diversification is an important part of our development as humans. It’s great to travel and be around people who aren’t like you, who take you out of your comfort zone and force you to develop new ideas of culture and humanity. What I’ve learned traveling is that people are at a base level the same everywhere, although there are differences which have been imposed through the arc of time. When you immerse yourself in a culture other than your own, you can learn those impositions and adopt the ideas that you like, making yourself a truly unique individual.

Where diversification falls short of being important for development, is in our product purchases. You see people who have an iPhone, a Samsung Android tablet, and a Dell Windows PC, and use Yahoo! e-mail. This can be in the name of diversification, that different platforms have different benefits, and that it’s generally a bad idea to put all your faith in a single company in case it goes out of business.

As far as Apple goes, however, it’s very far from shutting down with its $151 billion in the bank and all. And the more companies you tie yourself to, the greater the chance you’ll find some services you rely on disappearing. It’s important to measure everything such as functionality, profitability, and how the company has handled product/service transitions in the past. From what I’ve measured Apple is the company I feel safe relying on.


November 23, 2013

Two days ago one of my friends told me that he was glad that I didn’t kill myself (sometime between 2012 and February 2013 I suffered from suicidal depression). I told him yeah, I’m glad too, then I asked what brought it up. He told me that a friend of his had just killed himself.

It’s things like this which indicate that we who have overcome something almost have a responsibility to talk about it, to get it into the public consciousness. By becoming fruitarian I’ve overcome seizures, depression, and physical inactivity, and I’ve talked at length about the seizures and inactivity. With the exceptions of snippets here and there, and a mention in an interview, I’ve avoided going over my depression at length. That has to change.

After asking me a series of questions in October 2012, my doctor told me that I was severely depressed and she recommended that I see a therapist. I told her no. Between then and February 19th, 2013 I tried to commit suicide through medication overdose three times.

The reason I refused to see a therapist was because of embarrassment. I’m on my dad’s health insurance, so if I went to therapy, he’d find out whether I wanted him to or not. He’d tell my mom, my mom would probably make me stay with her so she could supervise me I’d have to tell my friends why I was moving back home, and my life – whatever it was – would be shattered… Whether that would’ve turned out to be true or not, that was my thought process. I was too embarrassed to seek help.

And so I tried to kill myself three times with Vicodin and/or Lamictal XR.

I do want to note that, on the scale of suicide attempts, my overdoses pale in severity to people who have shot, cut, or hung themselves. I could have tried harder to kill myself, and I don’t mean to minimize others’ suicides by using my own smaller attempts as examples.

I do think that I can offer some universal insight, however.

As I mentioned above, I was too embarrassed to let other people know that I was depressed and regularly thought about killing myself. I assume that that’s exactly how it is with many other people who are depressed. You hear about it all the time – one day a kid is found dead in their room, and then everyone close to them says that they didn’t see it coming. That they had no idea he or she was suicidal.

The reason is because people can put on a good mask to protect themselves.

I know that when I was around people, I pretended to be as okay as I could be, then I would go home and try to go to sleep, frightened of the next day. I really had nothing to be scared of, but I was just scared. No one knew that, though, and so if one day one of my overdose attempts was successful, everyone would say they didn’t see it coming.

You can’t wait for one of your friend’s funerals to express your love for them. You can’t wish that you had made them always welcome at your home. I don’t mean to plant the seeds of doubt, but people you treasure could be depressed and suicidal and they’re just too embarrassed to tell anybody.

What you can do is express your love whether they seem depressed or not. What’s the worst that can happen if someone you love isn’t depressed and you tell them how much you appreciate them? You’ll receive thanks? But on the off chance that a person you reach out to is depressed, your love might make them feel a little bit safer in a world they’re scared of.

I know that there were a few select people who made me feel safer when I was depressed. They didn’t stop me from trying to kill myself, but their love might be what stopped me from trying to kill myself with a more effective method. Their love might be what helped me choose to adopt a healthy fruitarian lifestyle after my third suicide attempt. Without their love, I might have succeeded in ending my life.

Love is important. Express it. Whether you know it or not, your love might save the life of someone you cherish. Where others are embarrassed to share their fear, have the courage to share your love. I know that I could have used more of it when I was suffering.

And if you ‘re depressed and you’re reading this, two things: 1) You are loved (trust me on this one), and 2) A lot of your depression could be directly tied to the food you’re eating. More than nine months ago my diet was based around refined sugars and chemicals that altered my brain chemistry. I cut that junk out of my diet and I saw an immediate turnaround. You might see a turnaround as well if you cut out the junk too!

Blood Test on Bananas (Bananas-Only Diet Part II)

November 19, 2013

Hey all!

It’s been a while. Admittedly I could have been a better blogger, but here I am and I hope I’m here to stay!

I recently finished another bananas-only month. And unlike last time, I didn’t eat anything except bananas – I didn’t stray for even a second. Also unlike last time, I got my blood tested immediately following the month and the results are mind-blowingly positive.

The Rules:

  1. Eat 30 bananas a day for at least 30 days, nothing else except water.
  2. That’s about it.

What happened:

  1. I ate only bananas for 33 days. I managed to maintain 30 every day up until the very end when I caught up on many days of no sleep. 975 bananas in total though!
  2. I made another athletic jump. I ran a 5K and then 45 minutes later ran 11.42 miles for fun, without breaking a sweat.
  3. I started looking younger again. Some of my coworkers at my new job don’t believe that I’m 22 years old – so I’ve thrown them a bone and “admitted” that I’m 17.
  4. I don’t know how much weight I’ve lost, but I lost a significant amount of body fat. I’m extremely lean now.
  5. After the 33rd day and a 12-hour water fast I got my blood tested, and the results are fascinating!

Before I continue with my full blood results list, there are a few notable things:

  1. The only real negative result that appeared on my tests is my Lp(a) levels… They’re kind of through the roof! Lp(a) – AKA Lipoprotein(a) – is a “different form of LDL”, and while that result had me shocked initially (How can my LDL levels be through the roof on just bananas!?!?) after researching further I learned that Lp(a) is affected be genetics and not diet whatsoever. Which means the only negative indication on my blood results has absolutely nothing to do with my diet or lifestyle!
  2. My Protein level is 7.5. The healthy range is 6 to 8.6. Let’s put aside that lie about how you can’t get Protein from fruit – in this case, bananas!
  3. My Calcium level is 10.1, and the healthy range is 8.7 to 10.3. The idea that you can’t get enough Calcium from fruit is also a lie, at least when bananas are involved.
  4. My Potassium level is 4.6. 6 months ago when I had my first blood test done, and I was eating probably 2 bananas a day, my Potassium level was 4.5. Eating 15x the bananas didn’t send my Potassium levels sky high! So let’s set aside the lie about how one can get too much Potassium from bananas.
  5. My Hemoglobin level is 15.1, which is very good. If this is indeed tied to the bananas, it makes sense that I receive athletic jumps when eating only bananas.
  6. I have anemia, so I’ve always known my Red Blood Cell and White Blood Cell counts to be low. I’m beyond pleased to say that that is no longer the case! I’ve beat anemia! My RBC level is 4.78 and my WBC level is 5.3! And across the board my blood health is perfect. I haven’t ever been this pleased with a test result.

So at least my blood seems to think that bananas are pretty perfect.

By the way, you can call me Tanner Bananner! :-)

See ya!

Full Blood Test Results:

Basic Lipid Panel

Total Cholesterol (< 200 is good)

LDL ( 40 is good)

Triglycerides (< 150 is good)


LDL Particles

vLDL-C (5 – 41 is good)

Lp(a) (< 75 is good)
269 – High

Apo B (< 60 is good)
96 – High



hs-CRP (< 1 is good)


Diabetes & Insulin Resistance

Glucose (50 – 100 is good)

Hemoglobin A1c (< 5.7 is good)



TSH (0.45 – 4.21 is good)


Liver Enzymes and Function Tests

ALT/SGPT (8 – 41 is good)

ALP (40 – 129 is good)

AST/SGOT ( 3.5 is good)

Total Protein (6 – 8.6 is good)

Globulin (1.5 – 4.6 is good)

A/G Ratio (1.1 – 2.6 is good)


Kidney Function

Creatinine (serum) (0 – 1.21 is good)

eGFR (> 60 is good)

BUN (6 – 21 is good)
5 – Low

Albumin (> 3.5 is good)

BUN/Creatinine Ratio (9 – 21 is good)
5 – Low



Sodium (133 – 136 is good)

Potassium (3.5 – 5.1 is good)

Chloride (97 – 109 is good)
94 – Low

CO2 (22 – 30 is good)

Calcium (8.7 – 10.3 is good)



ALP (40 – 129 is good)

Calcium (8.7 – 10.3 is good)

25-Hydroxy Vitamin D (> 30 is good)
14.9 – Low


Red Blood Cells

RBC (4.1 – 5.7 is good)

Hemoglobin (12.5 – 17.1 is good)

Hematocrit (36 – 51 is good)

MCV (80 – 99 is good)

MCH (27 – 35 is good)

MCHC (32 – 37 is good)

RDW (12.3 – 15.1 is good)


White Blood Cells

White Blood Cell Count (3.8 – 10.8 is good)

Neutrophil Count (ANC) (1.5 – 7 is good)

% Neutrophil (40 – 75 is good)

Lymphocyte Count (absolute) (0.8 – 3.1 is good)

% Lymphocytes (14 – 47 is good)

Monocytes (absolute) (0.2 – 0.9 is good)

% Monocytes (4 – 12 is good)

Eosinophil (absolute) (0 – 0.5 is good)

% Eosinophils (0 – 5 is good)

Basophil (absolute) (0 – 0.3 is good)

% Basophils (0 – 4 is good)

Immature Granulocytes (< 1 is good)

Immature Granulocytes (absolute) (< 0.1 is good)



Platelet Count (155 – 379 is good)



25-Hydroxy Vitamin D (> 30 is good)
14.9 – Low

Staying True to Yourself

September 26, 2013

Hi everybody, it’s been a while! I’ll keep this short.

I’m hosting a fundraiser in a few days for a Fruit Run 5K and I’m simultaneously super excited and super scared!

Initially the fundraiser was going to be a banana split stand. Yup, banana and ice cream and chocolate — as in dairy, which is a food group I intensely disagree with. I told myself “look at the big picture”. That I should ignore that it’s dairy and raise money for an event that will help make fruits and vegetables accessible. I felt completely ashamed when one of my fruit friends asked me what the fundraiser was, and that feeling isn’t healthy.


We changed our plans at the last minute, and now Ritam (my partner) and I will be selling one-ingredient ice cream, that ingredient being bananas. I’m staying true to myself and I have so much energy because of it, and my enthusiasm for what I’m selling is genuine.

If I’m capable of giving life advice, don’t settle because “the big picture” is asking you to. Make the big picture settle with what makes you happy, because the result is going to be so much healthier. In my case, figuratively and literally!

See you soon,


“Consult Your Physician”

July 29, 2013

A idea that I’ve been battling since I started promoting a fruitarian lifestyle, is whether or not I should advise you to consult your physician to do things I recommend. I’m not a doctor, I’m at best a beginner nutritionist. If something that I advise you to do goes wrong, you (or your family) can’t seek financial recourse because I don’t have a legally protected medical title. If your doctor approves my recommended diet switch to help your illness, and something bad happens, he or she or your healthcare provider can probably be sued for the bad advice.

In a nutshell, you take advice from bloggers and YouTubers at your own risk. While I believe in everything I say, it’s unwise to not keep caution in mind and not do your own research before changing your lifestyle quickly and drastically. However, while somewhat controversial, I’m going to advise you to not consult your physician about if an illness of yours is linked to the junk you’re eating, and if a raw vegan lifestyle is something you should try. This defies my initial statements on this blog, but you’re more likely to get better health advice from your hair stylist*.

The medical industry is a business, and while I’m sure there are well meaning physicians out there, they would lose money if you sought natural treatments. Everyone in the medical industry depends on you being sick and needing their treatments to make a living. If apples keep the doctor away, do you think that many doctors would link your health to your diet? I know that no doctor that I’ve ever seen has asked me what I was eating. Be it visits for strep throat, pneumonia, kidney stones, flu, the common cold, general checkups, or even my epilepsy which has persisted since I was a child. I haven’t had a single doctor for any single health issue ask me a single question about diet. And these are the people I’ve been recommending you consult before adopting fruitarianism?

(I’m sorry that I used to try to be politically correct, in a sense.)

Now here’s what I think is a smart approach to changing your lifestyle: Seek out the fruitarians and raw vegans who have tackled the health issues that you want to tackle. Find the people who were like you. I haven’t found more than a handful of raw vegans who can be called doctors, but every person is an expert of his or her own story.

If you’re depressed, or are anorexic, or have extremely low energy levels, or have tonic clonic epilepsy, or have a combination of the lot, I’m an excellent person to ask for help. These are problems that I’ve addressed and am managing with my fruitarian lifestyle, and chances are you will see benefits identical to mine. If you’re obese and want to lose weight, I can send you to fruitarians that have lost countless lbs and have kept the weight off. If you have celiac disease, I can link you to someone who fought that with a fruitarian lifestyle and won. Heck, there are plenty of people who beat cancer with a raw vegan lifestyle. And if you want to improve your fitness, I can link you to fruitarians that went from non-fit to athlete.

Find the fruitarian or raw vegan that was most like you are now — and again, I can guide you in that quest if I’m unable to do more than give you an indication of how you should eat and exercise — and get consultation from him or her. We fruitarians and raw vegans of the Internet have no stake in your continued illness. All the information we provide, all the time we put into documenting our lifestyles, is done because we want to shorten lines at hospitals.

* True story. My hair stylist told me that what I need to do to maintain healthy hair, is eat healthy and exercise. She didn’t mention shampoos or conditioners, she didn’t push any products that the business sells. The more hair I have, the more expensive haircuts I might need, and the more money she earns. Advising anything that damages my hair decreases the value of my visits. Hair stylists are almost like reverse doctors.

Cooked Rewards

July 25, 2013

One of the things that fruitarians and raw vegans face is an onslaught of cooked food. It’s everywhere! Cooked food is inescapable, and I think that it’s dangerous socially to be afraid of cooked food if it’s vegan*, and it’s dangerous mentally to not address cooked cravings if you have them.


We also shouldn’t be going around eating cooked food like there’s no tomorrow, even if it is vegan. Cooked food is dead food, and you notice how useless it is if you only eat raw, living fruits and vegetables for a while. So what can we do about cravings or social isolation?

For every notable accomplishment, reward yourself with a single High Carb Cooked Vegan (HCCV) meal. Think potatoes, noodles, beans, rice, and any number of vegan items inbeteween which are low in fat and high in carbs. If you’re really craving a burrito (no queso, no carne!) then earn that burrito by completing a reward-worthy task.

What’s “reward-worthy” can vary by person. For me, that would be publishing my “Fitness on Fast Food Day” (a fitness/lifestyle experiment I did) findings. Completing a chapter in Duolingo [iTunes link], the app I’m using to learn Spanish. Completing an entire course in iTunes U or Running 15 miles instead of 7.5. Anything that, when completed, has me breathing a sigh of relief and saying “frikkin’ finally!”.

If you, as a fruitarian or raw vegan, apply this rule to yourself — that you’re allotted one HCCV meal per accomplishment — you can turn your cooked cravings into productivity. A negative feeling can yield a positive outcome.

As of this writing I have three HCCV meals which need a companion accomplishment. Admittedly I’ve adopted this rule to quell my own cravings and lead to a more productive me, though I think a lot of us could benefit from practicing it.

* Always be afraid of meat and dairy, though!

The Bananas-Only Diet! The End and the Shortly After

July 11, 2013

It happened. Last Saturday was the 30th day of my 30 days eating only bananas — 30 bananas, every day of it. It’s probably been the most amazing experience of my life, and I have notes!

My Personal Changes

  • I look like I’m 17 years old. I can’t pass as my age, but I could pass as a high school student. As one person said, I look like I maybe just graduated high school.
  • My hair is shinier, my nails are harder, my skin is clearer, and my overall physiology has improved.
  • My energy levels went through the roof. There were many days where I had trouble sleeping because I was so pumped.
  • I’m personally more comfortable with myself and my diet, and I no longer fear a downward spiral if I give into a craving every now and then.
  • I learned that there is no limit to the amount one can poop.

My Social Experiences

  • Everyone asked why I was eating a pile of bananas if they saw me.
  • Everyone who asked me why I was eating a pile of bananas asked about protein. Every. Single. One.
  • After learning about my quest, some people poked my abdomen to see if they could feel fat. In public and completely unsolicited.
  • Some people who I know maintained that I could die from potassium poisoning — despite the fact that I ate 30 bananas a day all the way to 900 bananas in a month. I still haven’t disproven the old wive’s tale in their eyes.
  • It wasn’t uncommon for people to call me unhealthy and likely to die. One said that as he ate four cinnamon rolls.
  • The overwhelming majority of people were curious and fascinated as I answered their questions. Only a few took offense, but those who did very clearly wanted me to disappear and I actually felt threatened once.

After the Diet (So Far)

  • I’ve had an extremely difficult time leaving bananas exclusively. There has been one day so far where I almost starved myself because the only thing I wanted was ripe bananas and I had none. I’ve tried kickstarting my taste buds with a high carb cooked vegan meal here and there, and that’s helped slow my banana cravings.
  • When not basically starving myself, I’ve been maintaining the very high level of energy and have upped my top distance-running speed to 7.5 mph (up from 6.5).


Unless you have an allergy to bananas, I recommend the bananas-only diet. 30 bananas a day for 30 days. You can do it. You’ll see the world differently not only because of the mental and physical enhancements you’ll develop, but because you’ll rock the world around you. You’ll achieve a higher level of discipline as you have to exclude yourself from things that you really want to do, and as you defeat intense pressure from everyone to end the diet prematurely.

Taking up the bananas-only diet — or even fruitarianism in general — is you visibly putting the quality of your lifestyle first. You’re effectively setting fire to everything everyone’s ever known, and while there are less culturally controversial ways to improve your health, A) they probably aren’t as good and B) they don’t display your intentions as honestly — you won’t as easily learn “who your friends are”. Some people I know have been horrible to me, and others have taken a greater interest.

A few people will call you selfish, but really, it’s more selfish of others to think that their time is more important than your health. Anyone who thinks that your health shouldn’t be your first priority is someone who you don’t need to know — on a fruitarian diet, and especially on bananas-only, you will learn who you do need to know. That I think is as almost valuable as the health and physiological benefits.

This is the final banana on the diet, by the way. :-)


%d bloggers like this: